Motherhood, Mental Health, and Movement:
An Occupational Therapist's Journey to Self Regulation
Written by Simone Jordaan (Occupational Therapist)
You know that moment when you’re in the school pick-up line, simultaneously answering emails, mentally reviewing whether you paid for the rugby tour or filled in the hockey Google form, and noticing that your shoulders are basically at your ears? Yeah, that’s been my life for the past seven years. And I didn’t realise until recently that I was living in that state. All. The. Time.
As an occupational therapist and mother of three teenagers with competing sports schedules and academic demands that would make the best of us weep, I’ve got a confession: I was terrible at taking my own advice. I’d recommend movement and breathing techniques to my anxious clients all day long, then go home and stress-eat while scrolling through my phone. Classic case of “do as I say, not as I do.”
But something shifted when I started learning about what’s actually happening in our brains and bodies when we’re stressed. Once I understood the why behind the practices I was recommending, I couldn’t ignore them anymore. And now I’m obsessed with sharing this because it’s genuinely life-changing.
So let me tell you what I’ve learned both from the research and from actually living this.
Why Are We All So Anxious Right Now? Let’s start with the obvious: motherhood is hard. Like, really hard.
One in seven mothers struggles with postpartum depression, but here’s what nobody talks about: that’s not the end of the story. The real mental health crisis for mothers isn’t just postpartum. It’s the chronic, relentless stress that comes with the ongoing job of motherhood. The invisible mental load. The constant planning. The emotional labour of managing not just your own life but everyone else’s too.
And if you’re parenting teenagers right now? You’ve got company in the struggle. The statistics are genuinely alarming. We’re seeing a 15-20% increase in anxiety disorders in adolescents over the past decade, and the pandemic basically threw gasoline on that fire. Our kids are anxious, overwhelmed, glued to devices that are literally hijacking their attention, and navigating an uncertain future that frankly scares them.
As their mother, I feel that weight. Every single day.
But here’s what I didn’t expect to discover: the solution to all of this isn’t more self-help strategies or better time management apps. It’s not even therapy (though therapy is great). The most powerful tool for managing my anxiety and my teenagers’ anxiety? Movement.
Not exercise. Not “getting fit.” Just intentional movement that helps our nervous systems understand that we’re actually safe.
What’s Actually Happening In There? The Brain Behind the Stress
Okay, so I want to get a little nerdy here, but I promise it’ll make sense and it might change how you think about your own mental health.
When we’re stressed and let’s be real, when you’re managing three teenagers’ schedules, you’re basically always a little stressed something very specific is happening in your nervous system. It’s not just “in your head.” It’s literally affecting your body in measurable ways.
Your Nervous System Has a Dimmer Switch
Think of your autonomic nervous system (the part of your nervous system that runs on autopilot) like a dimmer switch for your entire body. There are basically three positions:
1. Sympathetic Activation (Fight/Flight Mode)
This is what most of us are living in most of the time.
When your nervous system perceives a threat—real or imagined—it activates. Your body releases cortisol and adrenaline. Your heart rate goes up. Your blood pressure rises. Digestion basically stops (which is why stress makes your stomach weird). Your brain goes into hypervigilance mode, constantly scanning for danger. And here’s the kicker: all the blood that was supporting your rational thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) gets redirected to your threat-detection system (the amygdala).
So not only are you stressed—you actually can’t think straight. You can’t access your best self. You’re basically operating on survival mode.
For mothers managing three teenagers, this state becomes chronic. You’re not stressed for five minutes—you’re stressed for years. Your nervous system is basically locked into this setting. And this is where everything falls apart: chronic stress depletes your resilience reserves, contributes to anxiety, triggers irritability, and yes, eventually leads to burnout.
2. Parasympathetic Activation (Rest and Digest)
This is the state you want to be in. This is where the magic happens.
In this state, your cortisol levels drop. Your heart rate slows. Digestion works properly. Your immune system functions. And most importantly? Your prefrontal cortex—your rational, thoughtful, “best self” brain—comes back online.
When you’re in this state, you can think clearly. You can problem-solve. You can connect with your kids without snapping at them. You feel calm. You feel like yourself.
This is the state we’re all desperately trying to access, and most of us have no idea how to get there.
3. Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown)
There’s also this third state that nobody really talks about, but it’s important. Sometimes when we’re overwhelmed for too long, we don’t just stay stressed—we shut down. This is depression. This is dissociation. This is lying in bed and feeling nothing. It’s also a nervous system state, and it’s just as dysregulating as the fight-or-flight state.
Here’s the Thing About the Vagus Nerve
There’s this long nerve running from your brain all the way down to your gut called the vagus nerve. It’s basically like a direct telephone line between your brain and your body. When this nerve is working properly—when it has good “tone,” as researchers say—you can shift between these nervous system states relatively easily.
But when you’re chronically stressed, that nerve gets “slack.” You lose tone. It becomes harder and harder to access the calm state. You get stuck in fight-or-flight, or you flip to shutdown.
Here’s what makes this scientifically cool: you can actually train this nerve. You can improve its tone. And when you do, your baseline nervous system state improves. You become more resilient. You can handle stress better. You access calm more easily.
How do you train it? Through movement. Through breathing. Through practices that develop what I’m about to tell you about.
The Game-Changer: Interoceptive Awareness
I’m going to introduce you to a concept that I genuinely think is the missing piece in most mental health conversations: interoception.
Interoception is basically your ability to perceive what’s happening inside your body. Your heartbeat. Your breathing. Where you’re holding tension. Whether you’re hot or cold. Hungry or full. Calm or anxious.
Sounds simple, right? But here’s the thing: most people with anxiety have terrible interoceptive awareness.
Why? Because they’re disconnected from their bodies. They’re living in their heads, worried about the future, replaying the past, or numbing out entirely. They can’t actually feel what’s happening inside them.
And this becomes a vicious cycle. If you can’t detect that you’re getting dysregulated early, by the time you notice, you’re already in full panic mode. There’s no chance to intervene before the spiral.
But if you develop good interoceptive awareness? You can feel yourself starting to get tense or anxious before it becomes a full-blown crisis. You can go, “Oh, I’m tightening up. Let me take some deep breaths,” and actually prevent the cascade.
Research by Dr. Bud Craig has shown something really interesting: people with better interoceptive awareness are significantly less anxious, less depressed, and more emotionally resilient. They have better social connections. They make better decisions because they’re actually listening to what their body is telling them about their needs.
And here’s the beautiful part: interoceptive awareness isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you develop through practice—and the best way to develop it is through mindful movement.
Why Teenagers Are Particularly Vulnerable Right Now
Understanding the teenage brain is crucial for understanding why our kids are struggling so much, and why they need these tools so badly.
The adolescent brain is basically a construction zone from ages 13-25. And I mean that literally.
The Brain Is Being Rebuilt
The teenage brain is going through something called synaptic pruning—basically, it’s eliminating unused neural connections to make the brain more efficient. Which sounds good, except there’s a catch: this also means that neural patterns become more rigid. So if your teenager develops an anxiety pattern, it can become pretty entrenched.
Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex—the part responsible for impulse control, long-term planning, emotional regulation, and rational thinking—isn’t fully developed until the mid-20s. But the amygdala—the emotional and threat-detection centre—is fully online and hypersensitive.
So basically, teenagers are walking around with a fully operational threat-detection system, a still-developing rational brain, and brains that are reorganizing themselves constantly. It’s chaos.
Add to this significant shifts in dopamine and serotonin (the neurotransmitters that regulate mood and motivation), and you’ve got a biological recipe for anxiety and depression. They’re also developing enhanced body awareness but often lack the skills to manage all the sensations they’re perceiving. They literally feel everything more intensely but lack the neural infrastructure to regulate it.
The Core Problem: A Mismatch Between Sensation and Regulation
So teenagers are experiencing heightened emotional intensity, increased bodily awareness, and reduced capacity to regulate that experience. They need tools that work at the nervous system level, not just the cognitive level.
You cannot think your way out of an amygdala hijack. You can’t just decide to be calm. But you can move your way out of it.
What Changed Everything For Me: Play Yoga Therapy
A few months ago, I decided to take a course called Play Yoga Therapy with Suzie Manson, designed around using yoga and movement therapy to help children with special needs manage anxiety and sensory processing challenges.
While my teenage clients don’t necessarily have diagnosed special needs, I started realising that in many ways, all teenagers are navigating developmental “special needs.” Their brains are differently wired. Their bodies are changing. Their regulation systems are fragile.
What blew my mind about this training was how yoga isn’t just exercise—it’s literally a nervous system intervention that works on multiple levels at once.
Why Yoga Is Different Than Other Exercise
Let’s say you go for a run. Great. You’re exercising. You’re getting endorphins. Good stuff.
But compare that to yoga. When you’re in a yoga pose:
You’re getting proprioceptive input. That’s the sensory system that tells you where your body is in space. When you’re in downward dog or warrior pose, your joints are compressing, your muscles are working against resistance, and your nervous system is receiving what researchers call “grounding” information. And here’s the neuroscience part: this proprioceptive input is inherently calming. It directly dampens your amygdala (your threat detector) and activates parasympathetic responses.
This is why a weighted blanket helps anxiety. Why deep pressure is calming. Why holding a plank pose can actually shift your nervous system.
You’re developing interoceptive awareness. Every yoga class is full of invitations to notice internal sensations. “Where do you feel this pose?” “Can you feel your feet on the ground?” “What’s happening in your body?” This constant turning of attention inward is literally rewiring your interoceptive pathways. Your brain is getting better at reading its own signals.
You’re toning your vagus nerve. The breathing practices in yoga—especially the longer exhales that are emphasized—directly stimulate the vagus nerve. When you exhale longer than you inhale, you’re literally activating the parasympathetic brake. Rhythmic breathing creates predictability, which signals safety to your nervous system.
Combine all of this—the proprioceptive input, the interoceptive awareness, the vagal breathing—and you’re not just exercising. You’re fundamentally retraining your nervous system’s capacity to regulate.
The Biggest Difference: No Performance, No Judgment
One thing that struck me deeply from Suzie’s approach is that there’s no “winning” in yoga. There’s no performance metric. You’re not trying to beat anyone or achieve a certain look. You’re just in your body, noticing what’s there.
For teenagers who are drowning in perfectionism, achievement pressure, and social comparison, this is revolutionary.
They can come to yoga and just be without being evaluated. Their nervous system can relax because there’s nothing at stake. And in that relaxation, something magical happens: they can actually access the parasympathetic state where regulation becomes possible.
The Neuroscience of Why Movement Works (For You, and For Your Brain)
Let me explain what actually happens in your brain when you practice yoga or take an intentional walk—because this is the part that made me go from “okay, self-care is probably good” to “I cannot skip this. This is medicine.”
The Neurobiological Cascade
Let’s say you take 15 minutes for a yoga practice:
1. You get proprioceptive input from the poses. Your nervous system receives grounding information: “My feet are on the ground. My body is supported. I’m okay.”
2. You start breathing consciously. Your breathing naturally synchronizes with the movement.
3. Your vagus nerve activates through the breathing, especially longer exhales. This is literally flipping the switch from sympathetic to parasympathetic.
4. Your parasympathetic nervous system comes online. Your cortisol starts dropping. Your heart rate slows. Your digestive system wakes up.
5. Your prefrontal cortex comes back. Now you can think clearly. Your best self is accessible again.
You’ve just literally shifted your entire neurobiological state in 15 minutes.
What This Does to Your Brain Structure
Here’s where it gets really cool: this isn’t just a temporary feeling. Research on brain imaging shows that people who regularly practice yoga have measurable increases in gray matter density in the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex—the areas critical for emotional regulation and memory.
Basically, you’re physically reshaping your brain toward better mental health.
When you move regularly:
• BDNF (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor) increases. This is like fertilizer for your brain. It supports neuroplasticity and the growth of new neurons, particularly in the hippocampus (which is why exercise is so good for depression).
• Endorphins and serotonin increase. Your mood naturally lifts.
• Cortisol decreases. Your immune system gets to function properly. Your body gets to actually recover.
• Vagal tone improves. You become more resilient. Stress impacts you less.
• Interoceptive awareness develops. You get better at detecting your own dysregulation before it spirals.
It’s not magic. It’s just… neurobiology. And it’s actually available to all of us right now.
Okay, But Why Don’t We Actually Do This?
Here’s the thing: I know all of this. I’ve known it for years. But knowing something and actually implementing it are very different things.
I used to think, “I don’t have time for yoga. I’m too busy. My kids need me. Self-care feels selfish.”
But then I learned something that changed my mind completely: You cannot regulate a dysregulated nervous system. You cannot be the mother, the partner, the person you want to be if your own nervous system is in chronic fight-or-flight mode.
This isn’t selfish. This is foundational.
The Allostatic Load of Motherhood
There’s a concept in neuroscience called “allostatic load”—basically, the cumulative wear and tear of chronic stress on your body. For mothers, this is real and measurable.
Chronic stress literally:
• Shrinks your hippocampus (your memory centre—which is why you can’t remember anything)
• Enlarges your amygdala (your threat detector—which is why you’re more reactive)
• Reduces your prefrontal gray matter (your rational thinking brain—which is why executive function goes out the window)
• Depletes your neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, GABA—which contributes to depression and anxiety)
• Elevates your baseline cortisol (which suppresses immune function and basically accelerates aging)
This isn’t weakness. This isn’t failure. This is neurobiology. And it’s reversible.
When I practice yoga:
• My hippocampus can start rebuilding
• My amygdala calms down
• My prefrontal cortex comes back
• My neurotransmitters stabilize
• My cortisol drops
A 15-minute yoga session does more for my anxiety than scrolling social media for two hours. A morning walk recalibrates my entire nervous system. Stretching and conscious breathing actually transforms my capacity to be present with my teenagers.
The research on this is robust: regular physical activity is as effective as medication for mild to moderate depression. It’s not a nice-to-have. It’s medicine.
Why This Matters for Your Teenagers
Everything I’m describing for myself? Your teenagers need this even more.
They’re navigating a world that’s essentially designed to dysregulate them:
• Social media creates constant comparison and threat signals
• Academic pressure keeps them in chronic low-level stress
• Phones hijack their attention and prevent the downtime their brains desperately need
• Uncertainty about climate, politics, and the future creates background anxiety
• Sleep deprivation (thanks, teenage circadian rhythm shift) makes everything worse
On top of this neurobiological reality, they’re often not given tools to actually manage their own regulation. They’re just told to “calm down” or “stop worrying,” which doesn’t address the nervous system at all.
But if they develop a movement practice—if they have tools to shift their own nervous system state—something shifts.
They start to have agency. Instead of being helpless to their anxiety, they learn: “I can feel myself getting activated. I can use my breath and movement to shift this.” This itself is incredibly therapeutic. It counters the helplessness that comes with anxiety and depression.
The Window of Tolerance
There’s a concept called the “window of tolerance” that’s crucial here. Each person has a zone of arousal where they function optimally—alert enough to engage, calm enough to think clearly.
Outside that window:
• Hyperarousal (above): anxiety, panic, hypervigilance
• Hypoarousal (below): depression, dissociation, shutdown
Many anxious teenagers have really narrow windows. Their nervous system swings between fight-or-flight and collapse.
But here’s the good news: movement practices that develop interoceptive awareness and vagal tone literally expand that window. Your teenager becomes more resilient. They can handle more stress without falling apart.
And every time they consciously use a movement practice to shift out of dysregulation, they’re literally rewiring their brain. They’re strengthening vagal pathways. They’re creating new neural patterns. They’re building self-efficacy: “I can shift my own state.”
Over time, this becomes more automatic. Their baseline nervous system improves. They develop what resilience researchers call “stress inoculation”—the ability to experience stress without becoming overwhelmed.
Movement as First Response
When I notice one of my teenagers is spiralling in anxiety, my new first move is not to dive into problem-solving or talking-it-through. It’s to suggest movement.
“Hey, you seem wound up. Want to go for a walk?” or “Let’s do a quick yoga video.”
Why? Because talking about anxiety when the nervous system is dysregulated can actually make it worse. It can feed the anxiety loop. But movement? Movement addresses the nervous system directly.
I’ve watched my 15-year-old go from spiralling to significantly calmer in 15 minutes of yoga. Not because we solved the problem, but because their nervous system downregulated enough for their prefrontal cortex to come back online.
Normalizing Regulation Language
We’ve started talking about our nervous systems like they’re something we manage and care for, not something that’s “wrong” with us.
Instead of: “You’re so anxious, just calm down”
I say: “Your nervous system is working hard right now. Let’s do some grounding poses.”
Or: “I can see you’re dysregulated. Want to go for a walk together?”
This is a completely different frame. It’s not shame. It’s not “fix yourself.” It’s compassionate acknowledgment that our nervous systems need support.
Interoceptive Check-ins
We’ve built in simple body scans, especially before bed or during stressful moments.
“Where do you feel calm in your body? Where do you feel tension? Can you feel your feet on the ground?”
This is literally building the neural pathways of interoceptive awareness. Over time, my teenagers are getting better at reading their own signals. They can feel dysregulation coming earlier. They can intervene sooner.
Modelling Self-Care (And Not Feeling Guilty About It)
My kids see me taking yoga seriously. They see me prioritising my own nervous system health. They watch me go for walks and take stretching breaks instead of staying glued to my computer.
This teaches them that self-care isn’t selfish. That bodies and minds are worthy of attention and care. That taking time to regulate isn’t a luxury—it’s necessary.
And honestly? They benefit directly because when I’m regulated, I’m a better mother. I don’t snap at them. I can actually listen. I’m present. I’m my best self.
Creating Neurobiological Safety Through Predictability
Here’s something I didn’t expect: when we do yoga or movement regularly, at the same time, in the same way, something shifts.
The nervous system learns: “This is a safe, predictable pattern. I can relax here.”
The body starts anticipating the regulation. You become conditioned toward calm.
A daily 10-minute family yoga practice or a regular walk isn’t just “exercise time”—it’s creating a neurobiological signal to the nervous system: “You’re safe. You can rest now.”
The Bigger Picture: This Is Neurobiology, Not Just Wellness
I think what’s shifted most for me is understanding that this isn’t wellness culture nonsense. It’s not “treat yourself” self-care that makes us feel guilty afterward.
This is foundational neurobiology for mental health.
As an occupational therapist, I know that the most effective interventions are those that are:
1. Grounded in evidence
2. Actually accessible and scalable
3. Things people will actually use
Movement-based regulation meets all three criteria. It’s evidence-based. It doesn’t require expensive equipment or classes. And once you understand why it works, you actually do it.
The Integration of Mind and Body
There’s this false dichotomy in how we think about mental health: we treat the mind and body as separate. We think, “I’m anxious,” and we try to fix it mentally—with positive self-talk, cognitive reframing, journaling, whatever.
But anxiety isn’t just a mind problem. It’s a nervous system problem. And you can’t think your way out of a dysregulated nervous system. You have to move your way out.
When we understand that our bodies and minds are deeply interconnected through the nervous system, everything changes. The solution isn’t “think more positively.” It’s “regulate your nervous system so your prefrontal cortex can come online and you can think more clearly.”
The Beautiful Part: It’s Reversible
Here’s what gives me so much hope: neuroplasticity. The brain is plastic. It can change. Rewire. Heal.
Every time my teenager practices yoga, they’re not just having a pleasant experience. They’re literally building new neural pathways. Strengthening vagal tone. Developing interoceptive awareness. Building resilience.
Every time I move intentionally instead of reaching for my phone, I’m rebuilding my hippocampus, calming my amygdala, and flooding my brain with neurochemicals that support mental health.
This isn’t a one-time fix. It’s not “do yoga once and be fixed.” But it’s also not hopeless. Every single practice matters. Every walk counts. Every conscious breath shapes the brain.
Okay, So What Now?
If any of this resonates with you—if you’re exhausted from chronic stress, if your teenagers are anxious, if you’re not sure how to actually help beyond telling them to meditate or “just relax”—here’s where to start:
Start small. 10 minutes. That’s it. A short yoga video. A walk. Whatever.
Make it accessible. Not at a fancy studio. Not with expensive apps. Just in your living room, or around your neighbourhood.
Focus on interoception, not performance. It’s not about doing the poses “right” or getting fit. It’s about noticing what’s happening in your body.
Do it regularly. Consistency matters more than duration. A 10-minute practice daily is more powerful than a 60-minute practice once a month.
Model it. Your kids are watching. When you take your own regulation seriously, they learn to value theirs.
Get support if you need it. If anxiety or depression are significantly impacting you or your teenager, professional support—therapy, yoga therapy, occupational therapy—is worth it.
Resources That Have Actually Helped Me
Play Yoga Therapy with Suzie Manson Honestly, this course shifted my entire understanding of how to support kids (and adults) through movement. Suzie’s approach is playful, grounded in therapy principles, and actually accessible. If you’re interested in deepening your understanding, it’s worth checking out.
Books That Explain This Stuff Clearly:
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk (this book is dense but revolutionary if you want to understand trauma and embodiment)
• What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey (way more accessible, focuses on developmental neuroscience)
YouTube Resources: Honestly, there are great free yoga videos for anxiety specifically. Search “yoga for anxiety” and see what resonates with you. The best practice is the one you’ll actually do.
The Bottom Line
For me, the busy schedule of three teenagers with sports and academics won’t slow down. Job demands will not get less. The demands of motherhood won’t decrease. The challenges facing today’s adolescents won’t disappear.
But with an understanding of what’s actually happening in our nervous systems, and with movement practices that directly address that neurobiology, we can all navigate this chaos with greater calm, presence, and resilience.
We are embodied beings regulated by nervous systems that respond powerfully to movement, breath, and conscious body awareness. This isn’t philosophy. It’s neurobiology.
And here’s what I want you to know: you’re not broken. Your teenager isn’t broken. Your nervous systems are just working the way they’re designed to work in a chronically stressful world. And there’s a solution. It’s accessible. It’s evidence-based. And it’s available to you right now.
Start with a walk. Notice your body. Breathe consciously. Take 10 minutes for yoga. Whatever feels doable.
Your nervous system, and your family, will thank you.